Glorious friends and support!

I received a beautiful gift today from some friends offering their love and support to me today. It has been a good day- I have been self discovering and I am making a few more changes in my life to be more introspective. I believe in my future and I have so many things to be grateful for. My daughter is 16years old and she is stronger than I ever was- she has had to face many hard things in her life and has proven that she can be terrific anyway. She proves that "In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity" She is strong and fun and so loving and supportive to me. She is a mini mom when I am feeling overwhelmed with meals, dishes etc... She can really take the load off of me and make it ok again! Thank you Aubree-- you are my delight and I LOVE YOU!!

Spring in the Rocky Mountains

It is only the hardy residents that laugh at the frequent surprise storms that blanket the sprouting signs of spring. The piles of melting snow that were once brown and dirty get a fresh new coat of white fluffy snow. The farm animals that were recently born get to tough it out in the fields with new snow on top of the mud. I find it hard to wait for the warm breezes of spring but am glad that the long cold winters keep out all but the Most Tough, Strong, Patient of us! The summers are worth it and so is less traffic, crime, littter etc... We are willing to put up with no flying kites until May, Tulips and Crocus that dont last long and all that we suffer through to be the FEW, the Proud, The Tough!!

Death vs. Divorce

It is a quandry- which is preferable if you had to face one or the other? I see death as a step in life- it can be hard, surprising, tragic BUT still a part of God's plan-- and the best part will be the hopefully joyful reunion when you meet the person that died again and run to them and hug them and catch up on all of the lost times and reminisce about of of the "good ol days". You have a funeral to recognize the great life that the person lived and you have alot of people to share in this time with you. You receive financial help from life insurance or whatever and you have a conituous flow of family and friends to help you through this time of loss.
Then you have the betrayal of the uncommitted spouse- the pain of dividing the assets and the getting over the unkindness sure to come through the process of separating ones life permanently from another. You don't have a funeral, memorial service or anything like the support of your friends rallying around you to give you their condolences and their words of love. You have nights alone, days of re structuring the bills, accounts, schedules, hearing things that remind you of the betrayal, trying to be strong for the kids, removing any small reminders to spare yourself anymore pain. You have divided the financial part of your life and wonder how you are going to do without the other income.
Well they both seem like such an awful trial....
Thank goodness I am not in control of which one happens and to whom-- I just take the FreeAgency of others that is inflicted upon me COPE--PRAY--DEAL-I know God is aware of me and so I -LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME!!

Life is NOT easy!
Life is NOT easy! I have learned this week to accept life's trials and take one breath at at time. Aubree is almost 16 and the joy of my life. She is so creative and so loving, especially this week. She plays the piano incredibly! She has Christofori's Dream memorized and plays it beautifully. She has been above average on her Chores/cleaning this week and it has helped my sanity. She is planning a "fun" 16th Birthday party at home and i hope we survive! I believe that she is so special, and has great things instore for the future. Dylan is soon to be 14 and so close to earning his Eagle Scout award that we can smell it!! He has had 2 trimesters with 4.o grades so far and earning his third as we speak, and I couldn't be more proud. He is so steady and so dependable to me. He gives me strength by giving me hugs and keeping my head up! He is still so funny and loves to make us laugh- which is a delight to have around. I rely on himm alot to help me-- he never lets me down. Mack is my 10 year old prince. He has a heart that is the biggest ever! He has been sad this week but so strong for me. He adores Legos and Erector sets and received some for his birthday and is crazy about them!! He has done almost 12 Book reports this school year on every subject, and has done soooo well!He has 3 more to do to reach the 15 for the 4th grade year. He is such fun to have around and is learning to be a better helper. He loves to play with friends and to watch Spongebob! Well, I am really enjoying my new job with an Audiologist Office in Logan, I am thrilled to meet with elderly patients and be a help to them in their lives. I have found time to re arrange furniture- which i enjoy doing! and i have a few spring projects planned. I do love the smell of paint!! I am finding courage every day that I didnt realize I had. I am moving forward in my life and not looking back!! Does that sound convincing? heeheeheeLove, Julie

I find myself a single mom again and that is so disturbing to me!!I think that this spring is going to be a battle for me personally to get through. I have faith that I can find self worth and enjoyment in things i used to. So I am running on alot of adrenaline and some panic and a dash of stress to organize myself and my thoughts and search for daily goals and long term goals. The most important thing that keeps me getting out of bed everyday is my faith and the priesthood blessing I received to help me. I know that God has a plan for me and that he will never give me something I cannot handle. I know that the sleep I have enjoyed has come only through the comfort I have received from heavenly sources. I am so glad to have loving and caring parents and siblings that gather to help and give me support. LOVE YOU!!! Julie

My sister has encouraged me to take the time to start a blog-- So here it is!! ENJOY!!